BREASTFEEDING FOR TWO

"Breast is great, fed is best."

I remember reading that on one of my friends' Instagram posts awhile back, and I definitely believe it to be true (she's a totally awesome mommy blogger, too - check her out if you haven't already!).

One really common question I get from people is, "Are you still breastfeeding?" And, when I say that I am, most people are shocked. I'd be lying if it didn't shock me sometimes, too ... 

I've been lucky in that I've been able to breastfeed each one of our kiddos; Emma for six months, Finley for nine months and Beckett for 11 months (I joke that he'd still be breastfeeding had we not gotten pregnant with the twins -- that kid refused a bottle as hard as he could!). However, I realize this isn't the case for a lot of mamas, and there are many great reasons as to why a mom simply can't, or doesn't choose, to breastfeed.

When we found out about the twins, after my initial worry of how I'd ever learn how to hold two babies at once (this makes me chuckle now), my anxiety quickly shifted (and remained focused) on how I'd possibly ever breastfeed two babies at once?! Despite all of the anxiety, I really wanted to try.

I set a goal of six months. Somehow, I was going to make it six months -- whether that was through exclusively pumping, or breastfeeding, or a combo of both. I've had my eyes set on the six month goal, and even though I know it's not true, I feel like if I "give up" before then, I'd receive a failing grade in the nonexistent 'feeding category' (I'm a pretty competitive person, and this time, I think I'm competing with myself).

Initially, right after Campbelle and Sutton were born, I exclusively nursed them in the hospital. But, they were SO tiny ... well tiny to us anyway (in case you missed how large our previous babies were, you can catch up here). That, along with being sent to the NICU almost exactly 24 hours after their birth, the logistics and pressure in knowing exactly how many ML's they were taking in at each feed began to take a toll on me. So, I made the decision to no longer nurse, but to pump and bottle feed so we knew exactly what they were taking in, and could work towards getting home ...

And, it worked!

I got into a really good rhythm of pumping while feeding both babies (thanks to a hands-free pumping bra AND a Twin Z Pillow -- seriously twin moms, these are MUST HAVES!).

Every three hours like clockwork, I'd prep all of the bottles, hook myself up to the pump and feed. Feeding would take about a half hour to 45 minutes, then I'd detach, clean pump parts, get the bottles ready and put them in the fridge for the next feed and store the rest.

And, then ... repeat.

If this sounds exhausting, it's because it was. Full disclosure, I've always hated pumping. So, I really grew to resent my pump and every single feeding session. Pumping for six solid weeks around the clock made me feel isolated. Looking back, I think it was because I mourned that same bonding experience I had while nursing my other three.

So, one day, I just decided to try to get them to latch ... and Sutton did! She ate for a few minutes and then conked out ... but she latched! I was thrilled. And, from that moment on, we pretty much exclusively made the switch to breastfeeding.

Now, to say the road has been all roses and rainbows would be a lie. It's been hard. Really hard at times. But, I've stuck it out. And, I've really enjoyed bonding with my girls in this way.

I knew in order for me to be successful with breastfeeding the twins, that I needed to learn how to tandem feed (ie: feed both babies at once). It simply wasn't going to work for me, given the other three kiddos in the house, to feed one for a half hour, then feed the other for a half hour. I needed to get them fed at the same time, in as little amount of time as possible.

In the hospital (prior to the NICU) the babies were simply too small for me to do this. But, at six weeks, I learned how to football hold them at the same time (again, thank you Twin Z Pillow!). I joined a 'Breastfeeding of Multiples' Facebook group, and it has been really helpful and a nice virtual support system to be connected to a bunch of women who are going through the same things. I am amazed at how many of them have breastfed twins for over a year. Seriously. So. Much. Respect.

Side note: Many people ask how you breastfeed twins, since when you are breastfeeding a singleton, you feed them on one side, then switch and feed on the other all in one feeding. With twins, you don't switch sides, they take in what they need just off of the one side per feeding. Some twin moms designate a twin a certain side, but I switch back and forth -- I don't need another thing to try and keep track of!  

I am happy to report that the girls are now five months old, and are happy and thriving! Dare I even say, a little chunky?! It makes my mama heart SO happy seeing those chunky thighs and cheeks -- those skin rolls are proof of all of our hard work!

And, it's all been thanks to that "liquid gold" as it's often referred to :)

However, it's been just over two weeks now, that I made the decision to start supplementing with formula twice a day.

For the few weeks prior to that, I felt like allllll they wanted to do was eat every hour (that is also as exhausting as it sounds). I just felt like I couldn't keep up. Now that they are bigger, they also are becoming more easily distracted, and logistically are just plain harder to hold in a feeding position at the same time!

Exhibit A: Sutton trying to eat, while Campbelle is distracted and messing around.

Almost immediately after making this decision, I felt this immense pressure lift. I didn't really realize how much stress being the sole food source for two little humans was causing me! It was a balance I didn't know I needed.

I'm not ready to be done breastfeeding, but I also recognize that sustaining the life of two babies at once is no easy task ... and it's OK to get some help :)

I'm not quite sure when my breastfeeding journey will end with these two, but I'm really proud of how far we've made it, and really proud of them for how well they have done.

Here's to all you other mamas out there! Whether breastfeeding or bottle-feeding, formula or breastmilk ... none of it is easy. Fed really is best.

Mama's little buddy! This is his favorite place to sit while I'm feeding the twins.

Snuggles with Finley while feeding Campbelle.

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What made feeding your little ones easier on you? What were your biggest challenges and how did you overcome them? I'd love to hear!